types of hauntings

residual

this haunting is an event that was so impactful that it literally left a trauma in time. it is doomed to repeat in the same location again and again for eternity, or until the imprint wears away over time. these ghosts will not interact with you as they are trapped in their own world.

poltergeist

they can get violent! these hauntings are impossible to miss. they may seem demonic at first, but is not *quite* as serious. these hauntings may manifest in destructive acts such as throwing objects, furniture moving, or slamming doors. they are typically centered around one individual, often a young teen, who is vulnerable, unstable, and/or susceptible to the haunting.

earthbound/interactive

these ghosts wander freely in our present layer of time—they often do not know they are ghosts. they may interact with living humans and are stuck on earth because of a lack of closure/unfinished business before their death. help them find peace if you can.

shadow people

these are humanoid figures of all black that most commonly appear in flashes, or in the corner of your eye. this is the most frequently reported—i don’t think i know anyone who’s never seen one, or several. this haunting is popular over the internet in sleep paralysis forums.

hereditary

this is a gift from a loved one you may or may not have met. they will appear to you in any number of ways, but i find the most common is brief inexplicable smells, in dreams, and hearing or feeling them around you. although, on a rare occurrence they will call you on the phone, most likely soon after their death. this is a haunting many people wish for. cherish it.

architectural

this haunting is attached to a building. it is often portrayed in media as the haunted house, and in modern writing the house itself becomes the character, becomes the haunting. often this is the haunting of a childhood home, even if by a spirit who isn’t deceased. when you go somewhere you haven’t been for years and years, a place where something happened, you may experience the ghosts of who you were reliving that memory in time, in a kind of residual haunting. i hope it’s cathartic for you.

personal

this haunting spawns from a personal memory or experience, possibly traumatic. it is perceptible only to you unless it gets too strong, wherein it may begin to impact others. in this situation, stay calm, sever the ties that bind you to this haunting once and for all, and begin the healing process.

how to flunk out of college

 

1. avoid your roommate at all times

   (she asks you to lunch but you’re too nervous)

2. hide from Nice Guys

   (lock your door and turn off the lights)

3. try to make friends by taking them to the abandoned kmart

   (they think you’re creepy and do not want to talk to you anymore)

4. call your ex friend crying at midnight and sleep on his couch

   (he forgives you but you didn’t apologize)

5. get taken advantage of by someone you trust

   (don’t you think you owed him?)

6. open a Title IX case

   (it will intimidate him into dropping out)

7. make friends that you don’t like as people

8. go on a date with a guy who sounds like Forrest Gump

   (he takes you to an art museum and you cringe when he tries to hold your hand. when he goes in for a hug you walk away. you felt sorry for him because he was so nice but you’re so not ready)

9. get stood up by a guy who plays the trumpet

10. try really, really hard

    (really, really hard)

11. get drunk for the first time and tell Everyone how you Really feel

12. sit in the creek and read instead of going to class

13. take midnight booty calls and go crawling back to your dorm when he kicks you out at 4 am

    (he doesn’t want to sleep in the bed with you but it’d be rude to put you on the couch)

14. ghost your therapist

    (“I don’t even need it anymore”)

15. try to make amends with your oldest friend and get rejected

    (she thought it was clear she was trying to avoid you)

16. pick up your roommate when she gets stranded 2 hours away then let her sleep with your boyfriend

    (then She will friendship dump You because he coerced her into it)

17. live through the deadliest hurricane since Katrina

    (half your town is dead and you may have food insecurities for the rest of your life)

18. fuck it. drop out and go to mortuary school.