how to flunk out of college

 

1. avoid your roommate at all times

   (she asks you to lunch but you’re too nervous)

2. hide from Nice Guys

   (lock your door and turn off the lights)

3. try to make friends by taking them to the abandoned kmart

   (they think you’re creepy and do not want to talk to you anymore)

4. call your ex friend crying at midnight and sleep on his couch

   (he forgives you but you didn’t apologize)

5. get taken advantage of by someone you trust

   (don’t you think you owed him?)

6. open a Title IX case

   (it will intimidate him into dropping out)

7. make friends that you don’t like as people

8. go on a date with a guy who sounds like Forrest Gump

   (he takes you to an art museum and you cringe when he tries to hold your hand. when he goes in for a hug you walk away. you felt sorry for him because he was so nice but you’re so not ready)

9. get stood up by a guy who plays the trumpet

10. try really, really hard

    (really, really hard)

11. get drunk for the first time and tell Everyone how you Really feel

12. sit in the creek and read instead of going to class

13. take midnight booty calls and go crawling back to your dorm when he kicks you out at 4 am

    (he doesn’t want to sleep in the bed with you but it’d be rude to put you on the couch)

14. ghost your therapist

    (“I don’t even need it anymore”)

15. try to make amends with your oldest friend and get rejected

    (she thought it was clear she was trying to avoid you)

16. pick up your roommate when she gets stranded 2 hours away then let her sleep with your boyfriend

    (then She will friendship dump You because he coerced her into it)

17. live through the deadliest hurricane since Katrina

    (half your town is dead and you may have food insecurities for the rest of your life)

18. fuck it. drop out and go to mortuary school.

    
     

Songs About Home

This week, directly contrasting with last week's Songs of Leaving, we're going home. I like to play with the versatility of the idea of home. Is it where you grew up, or where you live? Is it your physical house, your town, or is it a person? 

 

It's where your heart is, just like they always say. What they don't always get right, though, is that we leave pieces of our heart just about wherever we go. There is a piece of my heart with old friends I no longer speak to, even though that is no longer home. 

"Homeward Bound" - Simon and Garfunkel

"I wish I was homeward bound  
Home, where my thoughts are skipping
Home, where my music's playing
Home, where my love lies waiting silently for me"

 

"Long Way Home" - The Goo Goo Dolls

"When your hope is sinking like a stone
I will take your hand, I will walk you home
If you never try, you're never gonna know
I will take you there, but you can't let go
'Cause it's a long way home"

 

"She's Leaving Home" - The Beatles

"She
Is having
Fun
Something inside, that was always denied
For so many years
She's leaving home"

 

"My Hometown" - Bruce Springsteen

"I was eight years old and running with a dime in my hand
Into the bus stop to pick up a paper for my old man
I'd sit on his lap in that big old Buick and steer as we drove through town
He'd tousle my hair and say Son, take a good look around
This is your hometown"

 

"When I Get Home" - The Beatles

"Come on
If you please
I got no time for triviality
I got a girl who's waiting home for me
Tonight"

 

"My Little Town" - Simon and Garfunkel

"In my little town
I never meant nothin', I was just my father's son
Savin' my money
Dreamin' of glory
Twitchin' like a finger on the trigger of a gun
Leaving nothing but the dead and dying back in my little town"

 

"Long Way Home from Here" - Matthew Perryman Jones

"There's nothing left to fear
Fear took everything I've known
I wanna feel you near, it's a long way home
From here"

 

"On Your Porch" - The Format

"We talked all night
About everything you could imagine
'Cause come the morning, I'll be gone
And as our eyes start to close
I turn to you and I let you know
That I love you"

 

"Front Porch" - Joy Williams

"We carved a story in these boards
Watching life go back and forth
You take it all for granted, then you leave
And then it takes a while to realize what you need
If never you find what you're looking for
Come on back to the front porch"

 

"Local Honey" - AL Riggs

"Nothing sweeter than local honey
Nothing sadder than a local death
Nothing sweeter than local honey
Nothing faster than a dying breath"

 

"Home Again" - Elton John  

"If I could go back home
If I'd never left
I'd never have known
We all dream of leaving
But wind up in the end
Spending all our time trying to get back home again"

Songs of Leaving

Turning eighteen, graduating, transitioning to college, all of it is leaving. I am leaving everything I've ever known--childhood, home, teachers, friends. Yes, I will see them again, but it will never really be the same.

It makes me think of running away. That's a thought I've had rather frequently. At this age you're stuck between dependence and independence. Sometimes, the baby bird is ready to fly and the mama bird is holding it by the tail. 

"Going To A Town" - Rufus Wainwright 

"Making my own way home, ain't gonna be alone
I've got a life to lead, America
I've got a life to lead"

 

 "Still Breathing" - Duran Duran

"I'm walkin' out of this town
I'm never going back there
I'm never going back there
I've burned the place to the ground
I'm never going back there
I'm never going back there again"

 

"New York's Not My Home" - Jim Croce

"It has been so long since I have felt fine
That's the reason that I've gotta get outta here
I'm so alone"

 

"She Moves On" - Paul Simon

"But feel the bite
Whenever you believe that
You'll be lost and love will find you
When the road bends
And the song ends
She moves on"

 

"Last Train to Clarksville" - The Monkees

"'Cause I'm leaving in the morning
And I must see you again
We'll have one more night together
'Til the morning brings my train
And I must go
Oh, no, no, no
Oh, no, no, no
And I don't know
If I'm ever coming home"

 

"Graceland" - Paul Simon

"For reasons I cannot explain
There's some part of me wants to see Graceland
And I may obliged to defend every love, every ending
Or maybe there's no obligations now
Maybe I've a reason to believe we all will be received in Graceland"

 

"I Can't Stay" - The Killers

"In the dark
For a while now
I can't stay so far
I can't stay much longer
Riding my decision home"

 

"America"  - Simon and Garfunkel

"'Kathy,' I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh
'Michigan seems like a dream to me now'
It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw
I've gone to look for America"

 

"Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M." - Simon and Garfunkel

"She is soft, she is warm, but my heart remains heavy
And I watch as her breasts gently rise, gently fall
For I know with the first light of dawn I'll be leaving
And tonight will be all I have left to recall"

 

"She's Leaving Home" - The Beatles

"Something inside, that was always denied
For so many years
She's leaving home"

 

"Leave A Light On" - Duran Duran

"Even if I wait a lifetime
I know, I swear
If you leave a light on, if you leave a light on for me
I'll come there
You can leave a light on for me"

 

"Traveling Boy" - Art Garfunkel

"I won't say that I'll be back again
'Cause time alone will tell
So no goodbyes for one just passing through
But one who'll always think of you
No goodbyes"

 

"God Bless the Absentee" - Paul Simon

"The future is the present
The present's in the past
The highways are in litigation
The airports disagree
God bless the absentee"

 

"Run Away from Life" - The Monkees

"Let's run away from life together
Leave behind the stormy weather
Let's find out what fantasy can do
Where we'll go to they can't touch us
Life is perfect nothing more to do"

 

"I Wanna Be Free" - The Monkees

"I wanna be free
Like the warm September wind, babe
Say you'll always be my friend, babe
We can make it to the end, babe"

 

"Born to Run" - Bruce Springsteen

"Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this trap
We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back"

 

"Time for Me to Fly" - REO Speedwagon

"Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that's just how it's got to be
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But it's time for me to fly"

 

"Where I'm Going" - The Wild Reeds

"I'm not running from a home we built for two
I'm chasing the winds, I'm leaving on whims and I'm learning a thing or two"

 

"Run Away With Me" - The Spring Standards

"We'll be on the road
Like some country song
Won't be long
We'll be ready
Let's go
Anywhere
Get the car packed and throw me the keys
Run away with me"

 

"Night Train" - The Accidentals

"I'm on the night train, see this land for a change
Gardens in the backyards, a far mountain range
I'm taking my time, I'll stay on this line to the end of the track
And watch the sun rise, maybe two or three times
Before I come back"

 

"Think I'll Run Away" - The Turtles

"Climb higher than we've climbed before
Life should show us so much more
Think I'll run away"

 

"We'll Meet Again" - The Turtles

"Oh, won't you please say hello to the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long
Well, they'll be happy to know that as you saw me go
I was singing this song"

 

"Ghosts" - The Head and the Heart

"All my friends are talkin' about leavin', about leavin'
But all my friends are sittin' in their graves"

 

"Steady, Steady" - The Crane Wives

"Oh, steady, steady
I am ready
To run"

 

"My Little Town" - Simon and Garfunkel

"In my little town
I never meant nothin', I was just my father's son
Saving my money
Dreaming of glory
Twitching like a finger on the trigger of a gun"

 

"Break Away" - Art Garfunkel

"It's not the sun you're trying to find
Something else is on your mind
You need a little space and time to break away
It's not the place you're going to
It's just a phase you're going through"

 

"Disappear" - Jason Webley

"A pull-out sofa, some cheap red wine, yeah, you're going to do some time
Just get in the car and drive
And no one's going to pick you up down here
No one's going to say you're in the clear
You push, you stretch, you rend apart the edges of just what you are
And no one's going to see you disappear"

 

"Blackbird" - The Beatles

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise"

Album Review: Seven Psalms

Seven Psalms

 

Paul Simon, known primarily for his works in the 60s folk duo Simon & Garfunkel, released "Seven Psalms" on May 19th of this year. I know, I'm a little late to write! But of course I pre-ordered the t-shirt, record, and CD months in advance. After his final album and farewell tour in 2018, Simon has begun to produce music again from his home studio on his family's Texas ranch.

"Seven Psalms" presents a groundbreaking operatic album format, and pulls it off just as well as any Paul Simon album would. It is a 33 minute piece with seven movements, available digitally as only one track. 

Along with the interconnecting songs are interconnecting themes, all in line with Simon's values and life course. There's a strong religious undertone with bits of the first movement "The Lord" repeating throughout the rest of the album. Other major ideas include love, aging, and forgiveness. Simon, at 81 years old, imparts his wisdom on us just as well now as he did in "Sounds of Silence." 

My personal favorite movement, "Wait," ends the recording with a solemn tone, reflecting on life and the past. The stanza, "I hear the ghost songs I own / Jumpin', jivin' and moanin' / Through a heartbroken microphone / Wait" brings up the sickly nostalgia of the early Paul Simon days. 

 

"Wait" referring overall to perhaps the end of life, mentioned in reference to "coming home," works for this piece in several ways. The preceding stanza hints that it may be we are not ready for the end of the first era of Paul Simon music, the heartbroken microphone alluding to the trials of love he went through in those days as opposed to his contentedness with his current wife Edie Brickell. Based on placement in the album, it signals the end just as it does to life. 

The final line, "Amen," may suggest the whole album as a prayer. With the religious themes, I lean toward this interpretation because it establishes peace. The final amen is Simon making peace with his life, with the Lord, and with endings.

This album, even more than himself, helps all his fans make peace with those things as well. 

I strongly recommend this album to anyone fond of indie music, folk, or any classic Paul Simon fans. Listen here on Spotify or read more about it on the website.

 

Old Friendship is Like:

Recently, I graduated high school. Yeah, that's a big feat in everyone's life, at least those who graduate. Everything was according to plan, until very close to the end. I still had my same two best friends since middle school, I knew all my classmates, I was passing all my classes. It was everything I'd dreamed it to be, and then it happened. 

Graduation came around, and I found that it suddenly wasn't anything like I'd planned. I had no friends to call my own. I wasn't angry at them for how they treated me. I know it must have felt like a betrayal. I know how they felt, and they couldn't see how their actions were selfish. 

It's hard letting go when you know everything about them. When you've known each other for so long, been so in love with them, know their every flaw. What do you do with all that love for them, once it's over? How do you come to terms with having hurt them? How they hurt you? 

I made my playlist for them, but this one wasn't that of a middle aged white woman living in a trailer whose husband just cheated on her. I don't wish any harm towards them. I'm hurt, but they didn't betray me. Instead, this playlist is about the melancholy ache of losing old friends, and having them to begin with.

"Champagne Problems" - Taylor Swift

"How evergreen our group of friends
Don't think we'll say that word again"

 

"Long Way Home" - Jukebox the Ghost

"Seems like many years ago
It's strange how you can never know who's
Going to stay with you and who will leave
Do you remember me?"

 

"I Will Never Forget" - Kimya Dawson

"She said, 'Do you remember singing Ice Ice Baby with me
Laying down on the reef bathroom floor?'
How could I ever forget?
I could never forget
I will never forget"

 

"Front Porch" - Joy Williams

"Whatever you've done it doesn't matter
'Cause darling we're all a little splintered and battered"

 

"Endless Running Out of Time" - The Secret Sisters

"Until the ties are broken
This purpose will be mine
To hold you close, and try to slow
The endless running out of time"

 

"Please Leave a Light on When You Go" - Brittain Ashford, Dave Malloy

"How can you see the ending
When you're lost at the beginning?"

 

"Calling Old Friends" - Defiance, Ohio

"Calling old friends to make sure they're real
Talking, talking just to feel
That sense of home you lost when you left last year"

 

"Song For An Old Friend" - The Mountain Goats

"You had oranges and lemons in a canvas bag beside you
And seven different kinds of light welling up inside of you
You smeared citrus pulp all over me, it felt okay
Good old East Rutherford three thousand miles away"

 

"Sometimes I Still Feel the Bruise" - The Mountain Goats

"Sometimes I still feel the bruise
Now and then I stumble on
What I've misplaced but never lost
An ache I first felt long ago
Though you've appeared and disappeared
Throughout these past few years
I'd be surprised if you now showed"

 

"Waiting For Your Call" - Dawes

"When you wanna know just how much I can forgive
I'll be waiting for your call"

 

"Heavy Storm" - First Aid Kit

"I wish that I could have known by then
What we all know now
That we're never getting back to those times"

 

"Famous Blue Raincoat" - Leonard Cohen

"What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way"

 

"The Way It Was" - The Killers

"Maybe a thief stole your heart
Or maybe we just drifted apart"

 

"The Last Place I Saw You Alive" - The Mountain Goats

"It's only now and then you come to mind / There's a trillion things you left behind / It's just the way the math works out / Nothing really to get worked up about"

 

"I Woke Up With This Song In My Head This Morning" - Bright Eyes

"I woke up with this song in my head this morning
I was dreaming about your record collection
And all of our scratched affection"

 

"Allies or Enemies" - The Crane Wives

"Remember when I could tell you not to smile when you were mad?
And you would always crack
And we'd both be laughing in the end
Now you're not so quick to forget"

 

"Stranger to Stranger" - Paul Simon

"Day after day
Year after year
Certain melodies tear your heart apart
Reconstruction is a lonesome art"

 

"Old Friends" - Simon and Garfunkel

"Can you imagine us years from today
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange to be seventy
Old friends, memory brushes the same years
Silently sharing the same fears"

 

"Bridge Over Troubled Water" - Simon and Garfunkel 

"Oh, when friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down"